My Fault
by spn22
Summary: Sheldon blames himself when Leonard becomes seriously ill.
1. I should have known

_A new Big Bang Theory story_

 _I do not own The Big Bang Theory_

 _Reviews make me :)_

* * *

Leonard was sick.

Not soup sick, not flu sick. Hospital sick.

Sheldon stood, making notes, in the waiting room. He would sometimes stop, pace up and down the tight room and then lean against the opposite wall, noting another thought.

He was smarter than all the doctors in this hospital put together.

They were doing everything wrong.

They should have come out with news hours ago.

"Sheldon". Penny's voice was choked but gentle. "Sweetie, come and sit down."

"Why? That won't make a difference."

"You're stressing everybody out, Sheldon. Including yourself. Just... just come and sit down. Please?"

Sheldon sighed and then flopped himself down next to her. The chair wasn't comfortable and it faced away from the door- but he didn't have the energy or the care to move it.

Penny reached out rubbed his back.

"It's okay, sweetie. We're all worried."

"I'm not worried. I'm just ashamed to be in this place. So many minds being used in the wrong way... and not one of them is helping Leonard"

Howard sighed. "Not what Penny needs to hear right now, Sheldon."

"I'm just telling the truth."

"Then try to be kind instead for once, for crying out loud."

"Leave him alone, Howard." Penny placed a hand on Sheldon's. "It's okay, Sheldon."

"No, it's not."

Nobody corrected him.

* * *

Sheldon had warned him. He had _told_ him. There was something wrong.

The signs had all been there.

 _"It's a cold, Sheldon. At the most it's man-flu. I'm fine."_

 _"Well, as alarming as that would indeed be for everyone...I don't think so, Leonard."_

 _"Sheldon, it's the flu."_

Now Sheldon looked back, perhaps Leonard had worried it was something more. Leonard never complained about himself, not really. Sure, Sheldon moaned that he did... but the moaning was more of a direct result of Leonard responding to HIS moaning.

It had ben so easy, for both of them, to dismiss it as a bad cold.

Sheldon remembered the night that a worried Penny had been persuaded to go on a night-out with the girls. Sheldon had been happy. A night in with Gotham Season One [with commentary], Pizza night and pulp free orange and beer for Leonard.

Sheldon had been adding his own voice to the commentary. His excitement that a Doctor's son was playing Alfred, the obvious fault in the Penguin's character, where he thought Gotham really was...

"Sheldon...I...I don't feel well."

"Well, a slight over-exaggeration Leonard, but I'm certain in later episodes..."

"No, no, Sheldon, I don't.."

"I mean, I see this as a goer, Lenard. It's been renewed..."

It was then that Leonard had vomited, all down the side of his chair.

Sheldon managed to hide his disgust. This had happened before, after a particularly messy version of a Star Wars drinking game night.

This was different. Leonard had flopped off the couch, his knees hitting the floor with a thud.

"Leonard?"

Leonard was swaying on his knees, one hand at his mouth, the other at his head.

"Leonard!"

Sheldon was bent down in a moment, his hand flying to Leonard's face, wincing at the temperature. Leonard had tried to look him in the face but instead collapsed wordlessly onto Sheldon's chest.

* * *

Viral meningitis.

Such a simple illness.

Why hadn't he seen it?

He had three degrees. A doctorate... and he missed such a well known illness.

"Its symptoms are incredibly similar to the flu..." a doctor had tried to offer to him symptomatically "They are frequently easily missed"

 _I shouldn't have missed them._

* * *

So here they were. The girls still in their dresses. Waiting.

So Sheldon wrote- and watched- anything but think about what-ifs.

Anything but to think... and to cry.


	2. There's something wrong

Thank you for the reviews lovely people!

I do not own The Big Bang Theory

Reviews make me :)

* * *

"Family of Leonard Hoffstader?"

The group stood up in near unison.

"Yes." Penny

"All of you?" the Doctor looked warily around at the group.

"Yes" Sheldon said.

"Okay. Well, Mr Hoffstader's out of surgery..."

"But why did it take so long? He should have been out over an hour ago, are your staff not competent enough because..."

"Sheldon, honey" Penny placed a gentle hand on his arm to silence him.

"Yes, we were in surgery longer than anticipated" the doctor gave Sheldon a sideways glance "There have been some complications."

Sheldon opened his mouth to speak but Penny cut him off. "Complications? What kind of complications?"

"Nothing to be hugely concerned with yet. His temperature was higher than we would have liked during the operation which means we have to consider the chance of..."

"Infection!"

The group looked at Sheldon who was staring at the Doctor with disdain.

"Well, it's obvious, isn't it? He has an infection!"

The group didn't speak but instead looked at the Doctor.

"Yes." The doctor put her hands up to avoid immediate questions "Yes Mr Hoffstader does have some kind of an infection- we're trying to locate the infection but for now we're controlling it."

"And how may I ask are you doing that?"

"Sheldon- be nice. We need these people."

"No, Leonard needs them- _I'm_ having my doubts. They might be the last thing he needs."

"Sheldon- shut up!" Howard had clearly been biting his tongue for some time. "She knows what she's talking about- more so than you!"

"I hardly think that's..."

"Sheldon, these people are trying to save Leonard. So shut up and listen!"

The voice did not come from Howard but from Penny. Sheldon fliched. Penny didn't even look at him.

"I'm...I'm sorry." Sheldon stepped backwards looking lost.

Penny brought Sheldon forward into a forced hug.

"It's okay, sweetie" she whispered.

The Doctor gave a small nod. "We're monitoring him closely. We'll keep you informed of any changes."

Sheldon shrugged Penny off him and turned away from the group, sitting himself down on the nearest chair. The group knew better than to join him.


End file.
